Quotes by Mark Twain
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved"
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb
in his mouth.
They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.